It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
