I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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