Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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