Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
