i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
