I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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