haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
you would pick up someone in the library
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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