I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Randomize
