That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
