and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
