I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
