This girl is more easily done than said...
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
