I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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