I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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