I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
