He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
