bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
