I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
