My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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