yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
