I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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