Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
