chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
