You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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