Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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