well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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