Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
