sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Please, let me fuck your mom
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
