i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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