I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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