I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
