On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
