She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
