let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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