You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
