new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
