Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
