Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
