Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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