I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
