You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
