I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
