i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just tell him i said nine months
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
