haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
