i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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