My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
