OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
