oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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