it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
