I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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