her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
